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Welcome to the pages of reflection & shadow work.
:::::take a deep breath:::::
One of the most common responses I hear when I talk to trans people and non-trans people, is that "all the violence is coming from the other side." and that "our responses are warranted self defense." Usually, there are accompanying arguments that the violence is being done in a particularly patriarchal way, an argument which is used to undermine the identity of both sides.
I will tell you now, there is violent action coming from both the cis/non-trans feminist community, and from the trans community. We are all suffering from it. To live by the sword is to die by the sword. We need to lay down our weapons.
This page is to encourage us to turn toward those in our own communities, to be aware of what is being done in our name, what is "justifying" violence against us, and what is pulling us farther apart from one another.
Trauma may tell us our anger is justified. This page is not trying to take your anger away. Anger can be a healthy emotion. But consider how this anger is being used. Trauma makes things appear black and white, can make it seem like there is no other option beyond "fight". When there are in actuality many many alternatives. Anger from trauma may tell us to fight, may make fighting feel like the most true thing we can do for ourselves, when in reality we are sacrificing ourselves on it's altar.
Be gentle with yourself. These posts are not meant to make you feel shame. Shame is no a useful tool. The purpose here is to create awareness, empathy, so that we can work together to end this.
You are encouraged to have some self care or support after you read these. Go slowly, you won't be blamed for the words of others here. At the same time, try not to distance yourself from it. The other side fears these words coming from your mouth; wonders if they are in your mind, and in your heart. Try imagining how it would feel to someone from an opposing identity to read these things.
If you are able, try to feel compassion for those who have written these hateful words. Once past the anger, they are likely speaking from deep wounds and trauma as well.
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Transgender & Trans Allies
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